Yeah. Box joke.
To be featured in the entryway of the Punk Rock B&B
One of the many things that I thought I wanted to do one day- those dreams that hang out, never to be actualized but easy to space out on when you’re scrubbing a toilet- was to own a punk rock bed and breakfast.
The idea was that I would have a cool, old Victorian house that I would decorate with my personal style, stuff full of amazing art from my friends, and it would be a bed and breakfast for people who don’t want to experience the usual bed and breakfast, up too early, perhaps more stuffy crowd. The punk rock b&b would be a place where you’d stay up until three a.m. with the other guests, listening to and making music, having drinks, taking a look at all the odd books and strange stuff collected over the years. The punk rock b&b would be the sort of place where guests from years past would still send things they’d found in some thrift store that would be perfect for the place. At the punk rock b&b, breakfast is served around noon. Come down in your pajamas. Have a bloody mary and a cup of coffee.
If today were a PRB&B day, here’s what I would serve:
- Stuff It French(y) Toast
- Pork Belly Tater Tots
- Bagels & Lox
- Crispy Kale Salad With Root Veggies and Ginger Dressing
All of these items are in my old, yellow recipe box. It’s a box I intend to give to my kids, and hope will one day go to their kids. The recipes are written the way that I’d talk if I were telling someone how to make the dishes. I hope that my voice comes through in them. For now, I’ll share with you my recipe for Stuff It French(y) Toast.
Nikol’s Stuff It French(y) Toast
For this recipe, you can really use any fruit that you love. Since I make my own jams and preserved fruits, sometimes I use whatever I have on hand. Most recently I made this with my Candy Apple Jam, which was an apple jam made with red hots. It totally tastes like Christmas. But you can do this with your own combo. For today, let’s go Mango Blueberry. Because we can, dammit. And for your bread, choose a loaf that is hefty and not pre-sliced, then cut it yourself nice and thick. (Note: Get the bread that’s on sale because it’s about to turn. It’s stiffer, which makes for a better french toast.)
1 Loaf of Bread 1 Mango, diced
Brandy 1 Pint Blueberries
4 oz cream cheese (soft) 2T Orange Liquore
1T sugar Cinnamon, Vanilla
3 large eggs 1 1/4 cup buttermilk*
Preheat oven to 300
1.) Add orange liquore and sugar to a sauce pan on low heat until sugar dissolves. Gently cook 1/2 the fruit in the orange liquore and sugar. This means, don’t go smashing it around like you’re playing Ike and Tina. Just shake the pan a little. Cook for about three minutes
2.) Combine the cooked fruit with the cream cheese.
3.) Again, GENTLY use a bread knife (serrated) to make a pocket in the side of the bread slices. No stabby killy. You don’t want to go all the way through the bread, and you want to make sure that you evenly cover the area of the bread to even out the stuffed-ness.
4.) Spoon the fruit mixture into the pockets. You don’t need a ton. Don’t try to overdo it. Gently gently gently use your fingers to squeeze a little bit to even out any lumps.
5.) Mix your eggs, milk, vanilla, and cinnamon.
6.) Heat the skillet. Use 1/2 oil and 1/2 butter for a higher smoke point so you don’t burn your french toast. Keep skillet at medium heat.
7.) Dip the bread into the mix, thoroughly soaking it. Then, piece by piece, add it to the skillet, cooking each side to a beautiful golden color.
8.) Put all cooked french toast on a wire rack in the oven for 10 min.
9.) While that’s happening, cook the remaning fruit in the brandy. This will be your topping. If you’re crazy, you can also add some maple syrup, but it’s your diabetes induced funeral, pal.
*If you don’t have buttermilk on hand, you can use regular milk. But, if you ever need to fudge buttermilk, you can do it by adding vinegar or lemon juice to regular milk and letting it stand for 5 minutes. Neat trick, yeah?