Alright, so let’s take a minute to be happy about remission. Around a year ago I came clean with y’all about the whole cancerous cells mutating thing that my body was doing. It was like my lymphatic system announced to me that it would be unavailable because it was backpacking through Europe to find itself. And, of course, one simply cannot do a lot with a MIA lymphatic system.
And yet, we did it! We made it through this year, and I got to sit in that stupid office with the various diplomas and photos of German Shepherds on the wood paneling and listen to my doctor click his pen-butt a few times and announce that “everything looks good”. In that moment, I felt nothing at all. I said, “Okay,” went to the reception desk, paid them for the zillionth time, and stepped out onto the street. It was when I started walking toward my house, the sun shining on the palm trees, my pink Chucks shuffling along, that I uttered something I have never in my whole life thought would leave my lips. With a smile on my face and an “alriiiiight” shake of my head, I said “BOOM-shaka-laka!”. And I goddamn meant it.
The main reason I say that “we” did it, is that over this past year especially, I have had the great fortune of being taken care of by so many people in my life. Some of you gave me freelance work. Some of you sent me presents. Some of you helped chip in when Dan and LA Record set up that amazing fundraiser that helped me pay off 8 grand in medical bills. Some of you bought me groceries, and my son was able to eat like a prince. Some of you spent time with me, and with Trast. Some of you gave me rides to appointments, or went to the gym with me. You all did so many great things, and when people ask me if I have a support system, I can’t even make my arms wide enough to show the “this big” of it all.
So, now I’m pretty set with not having to worry about chemo and radiation and surgery and what’s going to happen next. Sure, I have to continue to take a pretty whopping dose of prednisone for a while, but compared to the exhausting effects of the treatment, I’m doing much better.
However, I’m a bit screwed at the moment. That’s as delicately as I can put it. My unemployment benefits are gone, I am waiting to see if I qualify for an extension, and the money I’ve made on freelance jobs is gone. I’m sending out resumes daily, and shamelessly asking anyone I know to keep their ears to the ground for any work that might be out there. When they ask me what I’m looking for, I say “Anything.“, and by that I mean that I’ve got a variety of skills that I’ve honed over the years that would be of use.
Ideally, I’d have a full time position working in production in some capacity, utilizing my creativity. But the immediate need for any work at all is pressing. A friend of mine suggested that I have another fund raiser, but I feel like you already did so much to help the first time around, when I wasn’t exactly able bodied enough to do very much. So, I don’t like the idea of asking you to just hand me money.
I’d feel much more comfortable asking you if you have any work that you need done that you just don’t have the time or ability to do yourself. Do you need help doing some organizing? Do you need some writing done? Do you want me to clean your house? Do you want me to cook some meals that you can freeze and reheat later? Are you trying to put together a holiday party and you need someone to help with the nitty gritty details on that? Do you want me to be your body double in a major motion picture? (Ryan Gosling, I’m looking at you on this one.) There is no job too small right now, because every little bit is going to help more than you know.
I feel a little bit weird about posting this, because I know a lot of people are struggling to get by right now. But, as I sit here in this place of panic with $1.65 in my bank account and a lot of bills that need to be paid, and time and again all the people in my life say, “You’ll figure something out. You always do.”, I need to do something, and this is at least something.
So, please, contact me if you think of something I can do to help you. And again, thank you for being a part of my life and for all of your help.
***And if you’re wondering how to pay me for services rendered, you can always use this: