Good morning everyone! I trust the day finds you all well. I don’t mean to be overly emotive, but it’s been a fairly exciting morning over here at my house. I woke around 10, which seemed a bit early for a Saturday, but something was keeping me from sleeping. I had a special feeling about the day. So, I went to the bathroom, made my coffee, and took a look at my inbox. Well, you know how people are always talking about how you should trust your intuition? I quickly found out why I was feeling the belly flutters.
That’s right. American Golf is interested in me. Amy, you’re an angel. Your golden hair and your winning smile in combination with your incredible perception for matching me with the right job make you an enviable goddess whose visage ought grace a postage stamp. I wouldn’t be surprised if you and you alone hold the key to revitalizing our damaged economy. You ought to be appointed the new Secretary of Labor immediately. And so, indebted to Amy for finding me this position, I wrote back to her.
And also, in acknowledgement of her hard work on my behalf, it would have been a slap in the face to not jump at the job opening she found for me. And so, I applied. My cover letter:
Dear American Golf,
I’m sending you my resume because Amy, over at Career Builder, said that you would be interested in me. If you know Amy as well as I do, you’ll know that she’s pretty spot on when she figures out who would be a good match. After all, she did base her recommendation on my experience and qualifications.
While I have never in my entire life done anything even remotely related to accounting, I have a really good feeling about this. I’m sure someone from your team can explain all of that to me. I do have a son in 8th grade, so I could use his Algebra books as a resource whenever a big report is coming up.
I look forward to hearing back from you and setting up my office. What are your policies on decorating, by the way? I once worked at a place that didn’t allow us to bring our own rugs. That just doesn’t work for me. If your company has any sort of rug policy, I feel like we should discuss that up front.
Best, Nikol
So, fingers crossed, everyone. By this time next week, I may be gainfully employed as a Staff Accountant for American Golf. Dreams actualized. All thanks to Amy.
Career builder is such a waste of time. I’m certain that the site exists solely for the purpose of collecting email addresses. I posted my resume there once but I used a secondary email account and within a week I had a ton of spam.
As a software developer the only job site that can actually get you work is Dice.com. Monster.com is the site for most average humans. But you seem more like a content producer, unfortunately I don’t know where creative people go to get work.
Peace
> Unfortunately I don’t know where creative people go to get work.
L.A.
Hilarious. I used to write letters like this to people all of the time. Never to CareerBuilder though. I feel like I should start an account, even though I already have a good job, just so I can get awesome letters from the Amy’s of the world.