So, I mentioned last week that our company and Public Internet Channel is in the midst of this huge campaign to drive our unique page views up to 750,00 a month, right? This whole week was spent trying to sort out the best way to do that. I totally appreciate the advice, even though, “Take your top off!!!!!11!!!!1!” didn’t really do much to increase those numbers. It just weirded out my dinner guests.

In brainstorming how to get our numbers higher, I’ve basically just figured out that we need more Beiber related content. That’s my grand contribution. Grr.

But I also got to make this video about Mother’s Day. Please watch it. And check out the site. Those five page views we get from nikolhasler.com will show up on our analytics and MAYBE if I’m lucky, they’ll decide I’m worth keeping around.

The feel of a carpenter ant
beneath your tooth
back hairs like brillo pad prongs
oil coming off the stinking bastard
the way his pincers clattered against the spoon,
biting stupidly thinking he’ll break skin
his last time
as your tiny teeth pressed him
white guts and black shell
along with the cornflakes (more…)

Very irritable today. Not feeling great, and if anybody knows what the shit the Massachusets thing is, comment for me.

You asked for it, MM. Oh, Fuck! It’s Thursday is back.

I’m an oversharing loudmouth and I’m just fine with that. There’s not a lot about me that people don’t already know. Sometimes people even tell me to shut the hell up. Like my good buddy Tim, who will be getting punched in the neck next time I see him, and who writes a very funny blog of his own that I won’t even bother linking you to because he doesn’t deserve it after this:

Tim, Jerkface To The MAX, gives me a hard time about a Facebook update.

But sometimes I share things because people ask me to. I’m pretty nice that way.
Some months back I began writing and creating new videos called “So What Did We Learn?” in which I talk about stuff like pooping, nipple hair, and next Friday a new episode about embarrassing sex moments will be released. I am still finding my pace with the videos, which are just me talking to the camera intercut with little cartoons created by Brian Gilbert. But the site that hired me to make the show is being nice and patient with me.

Most recently, they asked me if I wanted to share even more with them, and of course I agreed to. Now you can ask me anything you want to about me me me memememememememe! me. Ahem. Me. at the open interview on SexIs. I mean it. Anything. Just click on this link, read what I’ve already revealed, and ask your own question! This ought to be fun.