It's pronounced HAYZ-ler, you dweebs.

Hi! I’m glad you’re here. Now go away for a minute!

June 29th, 2016

As you can see, I haven’t posted any updates in some time. I intend to revamp the ol’ blog to make it responsive and cleaner. Until then, stop judging me.

If you came here looking for Pikols, that part of my site is also going to be revamped.

For now, listen to this beautiful song that I can’t get enough of.

For Anyone Who Ever Wore Their Overalls Backward In Solidarity

September 24th, 2015

Now That’s A Joke

August 6th, 2015

I’m going to see Norm tomorrow in San Diego. This is me, bragging it up!

Quentin Dupieux Is A Big Flippin Bowl Of Weird

July 31st, 2015

We (KCET) just did a piece on him and it’s utterly fantastic. Read it. You must.

Because The Internet Has This To Offer

July 30th, 2015

Cool Beans Everybody

July 28th, 2015

Happy Friday, Hulkamaniacs

July 24th, 2015

Sorry about the whole racism thing.

I’m Walking Around for AIDS and You Should Give Me Money

July 17th, 2015

Well. You should give money to the AIDS Walk Los Angeles. I don’t get a red penny of it. What I do get to do is go on a walk with coworkers and contribute your money to stop new infections and support people living with HIV/AIDS.

If you have a few bucks rolling around in your pocket, I’ve set my personal goal at $300.00. But I would so love to exceed that goal.

Also, as an added bonus, anyone who donates will be part of a random drawing for a copy of my book. I’ll mail it to you and everything.

Here’s my personal page. Let’s raise some money.

I Have A Pretty Cool Job

July 16th, 2015

Things about my job, which is, for the record, Digital Project Manager for KCETLink:

I have to frequently explain the difference between public access and public television.

I got into this for the tote bags. I still haven’t gotten a tote bag. I remain hopeful.

I have to frequently explain that, no, we are not a PBS station. We’re independent. We’re the Beyonce of the public tv world, though. We’re fierce and mighty and dancey and looking good. Who needs Downton Abbey when we have Huell Howser? Sesame Street? No, thanks. I’m busy watching crazy music videos from around the world on Border Blaster.

I get to write things on sticky notes and give people points and use words like scrum.

I get to edit information on Climate Change, which means I get to learn all the latest horrifying scary information on Climate Change.

We get to produce and curate all sorts of really cool shows and content to bring to you. One of the shows I am most excited about right now is Link Voices. It’s a curation of some of the best documentaries I have ever seen. I can’t even make it through the promo without getting choked up.

So, next time you’re sitting on your couch and about to hit play on Storage Wars, but you’re hating your decisions, might I suggest instead checking out one of our latest documentaries. You’ll be happy. Or sad. Mostly sad, because most are sad. Anyway. I have a pretty cool job.

Dear Trast, In Case You’re Looking

June 23rd, 2015

Maybe you’ve found a computer. Maybe you’re googling yourself to see if we’re looking for you, like last time. If you’re out there wondering, there’s no plan to drive you to a treatment center in Malibu this time. There’s no plan at all, really, because it largely depends on you.

Summer is here and I see you everywhere I look. In the daytime at the parks, homeless people find shade and sleep, waiting, I suppose, for the air to be cool enough that they can walk around in their layers, carrying all their stuff. I stare hard at each of them, wondering if they’re you. I have a fear that you’re going to be there, close to me, and I am going to be looking at a billboard, running my usual cynical commentary, and I’ll not see you.

I see people walking with your mannerism sometimes. Tall, thin, touching their hair, with legs and feet loping in a cartoonish way, shoulders rising and falling in bouncing rhythm with their steps. I see them and I stare at them, even after I know they aren’t you, wondering if maybe they are. Who knows what living on the streets has made of you? You could be any of them now. Maybe you don’t even walk that way anymore.

Last night I watched the Guitarmaggedon episode of “Home Movies” and I remembered how we watched every episode of that show together. The mother/son relationship in that show was so similar to ours. Before everything went to hell, you and I were simpatico. We were a remarkable duo; every person we ever encountered felt it.

When someone goes through a breakup, you try to remind them that time will heal them, whenever time gets off its ass and gets around to doing that. Eventually you stop feeling like someone’s standing on your neck, you can breath, and you forget how desperately you once needed that other person. With you, I am aware that this ache will never end. The memory of the salt sour smell of your skin is imprinted on me, after all. Biology forces that smell upon mothers as a way for us to help protect our young. I’m doing a piss poor job of protecting you.

Where are you, goddamit, and what are you doing, and why won’t you just give me the peace of knowing? You always hated that I wanted to know where you were and who you were with. I always told you, tough luck, buster. I’m your mom and that’s what we do. But you hated it so much that you made sure I couldn’t know. And now I’ve moved to a different place, have a different phone number.

I cannot give you up for gone and move on.You must know that. I am trying my hardest to chill and wait for you to come to your senses, dude, but as your brother tells me all the time, I have no chill at all. It’s been six months. That’s long enough. It’s time to come home, sit down with me, and talk things through. Dig into the part of you that remembers who I really am to you instead of this version of myself that I became when you started getting in trouble. Maybe watch this episode of Home Movies. Maybe imagine watching that in the air conditioned living room while eating food you don’t have to beg for money to get. Whatever it takes. I’m here.

If you are reading this and want to help, please tweet or Facebook or blog a link to his poster.